Want a smoke?
No, I'm underage.
Is this a hospital?
Yeah.
It's pretty cold.
They should turn on the heat.
It's air-conditioned.
Air-conditioned?
In December?
No... it's July, right now.
July?!
Look.
Uhh..
Actually...
Can I?
A smoke.
To help me relax a bit.
Here.
Are you alright?
I'm fine.
I've smoked since grade 10.
But I actually hate them.
Cigarettes.
So why do I smoke them?
Far Away, So Close
She has memory loss.
The shock from her accident has affected the part of her brain that controls memories.
Based on the interview we did, she has lost all memories from 17 years of age until the accident.
Sakumi-san is fairly sure of who she is and what sort of life she's been leading.
It's just... 10 years of memories, from age 17 until now, have been lost.
10 years' worth?
Why so many...?
Well, she has suffered some trauma.
However, I don't see any clear damage or hemorrhaging in her brain.
Somehow, there's a barrier between two sets of memories.
Those before December of her 17th year, and those until now.
Would you have any idea why?
No...
Her father died, but that happened before that December.
Are her memories actually gone?
Well, she isn't saying anything to the contrary.
If she's lying, instead of a brain surgeon,
she may need psyochosomatic treatment or a psychiatrist.
Mom.
Are you alright?
Yeah.
You seem well.
As well as you can in this state, anyway.
This is Shimura-san. I mentioned him this morning.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Should I call you Dad?
Yeah.
Please do.
And this is your little sister, Mika-chan.
Nice to meet you!
Waking up to find I have a new sister feels weird!
Try speaking a little slowly.
Mika-chan's hearing is...
She can hear a little bit, though.
And she reads lips, too.
Right?
Huh? Hosomi-kun?
Listen, this is really something!
I've lost my memories!
I've heard.
I called him.
I thought you might remember him.
Of course I do, we're in the same class.
Yeah.
In grade 10.
Oh, right.
We need to go back to the shop before we go home,
so could you have Hosomi-kun take you home?
The shop?
Shimura-san is a drycleaner.
I wonder why she called you.
Let me know if the car scares you.
If you're 27... then you're an adult now.
What is your job?
Postal worker.
A government worker...
Postal workers aren't government workers.
How's that?
Postal service privatization...
Nevermind.
I like this smell!
Is it your girlfriend's taste?
Is it...
mine?
Are we... a couple?
No way!
Really?!
Who confessed first?
Me?
No, me.
What did you say?
We went camping
with people from our high school art club.
Everyone went as couples.
Only you and I were alone, so I did it there.
Because you had to?
No.
The whole camping trip was probably just to get us together.
I see.
That's how it was.
That dentist is gone!
Yeah. Long time ago.
I still have cavities...
But I guess they're already fixed.
You're going to sleep here?
What's wrong?
I had a bad dream.
What was it?
I forgot.
What about you?
Somehow...
I don't really get all this.
Being told I've lost my memories.
Getting abducted by aliens sounds more realistic.
I wonder if I will remember?
You don't need to.
Nobody remembers absolutely everything about themselves.
Okay?
Yeah.
I guess so.
I have taste.
Ooshima Kaoru...?
From class 3.
Correct!
No way!
You have a... different aura about you, now.
Because I'm taking hormone injections.
Hormones?
Yeah.
Male hormones.
You really don't remember, do you?
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
I'm still me.
Just my appearance has changed.
I'm still legally a girl, too.
Are you cosplaying?
No...
There wasn't anything to wear.
It doesn't suit you anymore.
Wanna go buy clothes?
I've got no money.
You forgot that, too?
You're an adult, you know.
I couldn't have Starbucks more than once a month!
And now you're drinking a Grande.
Being an adult is awesome.
Do you really not remember anything?
Seems that way.
All 10 years are blank.
Why is it 10 years?
It's like you've come from the past.
In a movie I saw a long time ago,
the protagonist traveled to the future,
and every little thing was surprising to him.
I wish I'd come from the future.
All the kids have really long legs now!
How surprising!
Shouno-san.
You've already gotten better?
Yup!
Uh... sorry, my memory is a bit... you know.
- Who might you-- - You got into an accident, right?
That must have been terrible.
Thank you.
Are your injuries getting better?
Ah, fortunately yes.
Aside from this!
Oh, I see.
How unfortunate.
Too bad you didn't die.
Something happen?
No, it's nothing.
I don't know any of these stores.
A lot has changed around here.
I heard Michael Jackson died.
Mom surprised the hell out of me with that news this morning.
I thought he wouldn't die in his lifetime.
"Not die in his lifetime" sounds strange, doesn't it?
Dennis Hopper, Imawano Kiyoshiro, and Tatekawa Danshi died, too.
Even Whitney Houston.
There was a big earthquake, a tsunami came,
and tens of thousands of people died.
You're lucky you don't remember.
Lucky?
Not unlucky?
Everyone struggles to forget the things they don't want to remember.
Your luck is really good.
Everyone in the art club said to bring you.
To celebrate your discharge, they say.
Sakumi-chan!
Come here!
The guest of honor gets the birthday seat!
This isn't about a birthday!
- Move over there! - Why?
Sakumi-chan!
Do you remember me?
Murayama Sakiko?
Correct!
No way!
Your stomach is so big!
It'll be born in 2 more months.
Wow!
Are you a housewife?
Yeah. My husband is 20 years older.
And there are two more kids at home!
Hey, Shouno!
Oh, you're Shimura now.
I'm Aoki!
Don't say it! I know!
Well, whatever. Let's drink!
I can't drink!
It's fine now, you're 27 after all.
Not because of that. I'm taking medicine.
You aren't even a drinker to begin with.
I'm not?
Half a cocktail is enough to make you black out.
You don't need to tell her that!
Are you still drawing, Sakiko?
Don't be silly!
But... you said you'd become an illustrator.
That was... just a dream.
What about Aoki?
I'm a car salesman.
Yoshida is in financing.
Mari is managing a Mr. Donut near the station.
Mr. Donut? That takes me back!
- We went there a lot on the way home from school! - Yeah!
I can't eat that many calories anymore, though!
We have low calorie options, now, too!
That's beyond their abilities!
But it's true!
What about Teshima-kun?
He's still drawing, right?
He's not here today?
He's as cold as ever.
What is it?
Well...
This can wait for another day.
What?
He died.
Teshima-kun... died last year.
Let it go.
She can't go on for ever without hearing about it.
Right?
Right?!
Anyway... let's drink!
Here it is.
Morning.
Don't you have school?
It's Saturday...
Shimura Cleaning...?
Dad's business?
Mom should just bring it here...
Should I go get it?
Would you like me to go get it?
Don't worry about it.
I'll get to it eventually.
Don't worry about it.
I'll get to it eventually.
I want to see where they're working, anyway.
You have a cute voice, Mika-chan.
Time to eat!
Let me.
Memory loss seems to be a pretty good thing.
I have a huge sense of freedom.
It... puts me at ease.
High school students have to worry about exams and such.
The unfortunate thing is that I don't have any memory of going on dates with you.
I'd like to run something by you.
How about we try doing everything over again?
Yesterday...
I found this.
The 10 years of myself that I've lost.
We look pretty happy, don't we?
It has "our first date" written on it.
Here.
Thanks.
I heard from the liquor store
that an outlet mall is going to be built.
Sorry.
For what?
This or that.
The sky sure is huge.
That would startle anyone!
Morning.
Your skin... sure has gotten prettier.
Do our cells respond to a more youthful mindset?
It's amazing.
Are you...
a virgin, by chance?
What are you on about this early?
I remember something.
You lost a game we played during our school trip
and confessed that you're still a virgin.
That was awful!
If we put aside your actual body...
you're psychologically a virgin?
Stop saying things like that!
That sounds like a virgin talking!
What is it?
Am I... not physically a virgin?
How about asking Hosomi?
You confessed something else, too!
You are seriously weak!
What was it?!
That you like someone!
Who was it?
I'm pretty sure you remember those days.
I forgot.
Your amnesia sure is special.
Your mom asked some things of me.
1: Take you to the hospital every 3 days.
2: Take you where you want to go.
Hosomi and I are both to help with these.
She's worried something might happen otherwise.
My workplace...
I wonder what kind of place it is.
Bugs eat other bugs, huh...
That gives me the creeps.
Good morning!
I'm sorry.
Huh?
Didn't you quit already?
That's what I heard, anyway.
And your desk...
it has gotten this loaded.
The box
has gifts for you, so it's good you're here.
But... excuse me, where are the other employees?
Not around.
There's just me.
And someone from accounting.
On that note...
This is your resignation letter.
You brought it in before your accident.
You don't remember that?
It's already this late, huh...
Pretty cool, isn't it?
This is...
If you manage a ron
[he's making a Mahjong-oriented adult game]
this girl will moan for you.
I did that kind of work, too?
Of course.
That's our job.
I'd already quit work.
Well...
it was that sort of work, after all.
It's a bit different from the work I wanted to get into.
That's rude.
You know nothing about it.
You may have had pride in that work in the 10 years you've lost.
I'm sorry.
I'm apologizing to myself.
It feels strange.
I'm going to go buy a drink.
Hey, don't do--
What are you thinking, wearing that?
You're...
Who exactly are you?
Give it back to me.
Give me back everything you took from me.
I'll never forget any of it.
You don't have any idea who she is?
Then forget her.
Things strangers say to you don't matter.
But...
I probably did something to her that makes her say things like that.
The adult version of me must have been pretty terrible.
Thanks for being my friend, Kaoru-chan.
We weren't friends.
When I came to you about my gender identity issues...
you said I'm repulsive.
I'm friends with the 17-year-old you.
If you get your memories back, I'll probably come to hate you again.
Just kidding.
On a date with Hosomi-kun Our favorite restaurant
Soooo good!
I'm glad!
I knew this would be good just from smelling it outside!
I can tell from that, you see.
Isn't this pointless if we don't go to the same place?
For your memories.
Well... yeah.
It's fine.
The memory doesn't matter.
I gave up on them. I can just move on in comfort as the 17-year-old me.
It's so hot...
You don't need to wear that if it's hot.
I guess.
Hey. Are you living on your own, Hosomi-kun?
No.
With my family.
Oh.
Then you haven't given me a spare key, right?
Right.
Why?
One is for my place, but the other...
The stars up there...
Am I crazy to think I saw more of them up there before?
Or maybe my eyes are just worse?
Maybe.
People often say
things were better before.
Older folk on T.V. and such.
Yeah.
I thought there was no way that's true.
Newer stuff is just plain better,
so the future itself has to be fun, too.
Why are you spending time with me, Hosomi-kun?
Out of pity?
I haven't even been thinking that.
You sure don't let the truth out.
Is that part of what it means to be an adult?
Be careful. Look ahead while you walk.
Your hand.
You may be used to holding my hand...
but this is the first time for me.
You should be okay to wash your hair.
Finally!
How about your memories? Nothing?
Yeah... nothing at all.
Oh? Have you gone to the site of the accident?
Huh?
I mean the site of your accident.
The traffic accident.
Hey...
That makes it seem like I died.
Don't worry about it. It's for effect.
Don't kill me for effect.
Looks like it was a pretty straightforward accident.
Ice cream!
That's about the only thing that hasn't changed in 10 years.
I want some.
You're not nearly worried enough.
Do you remember something?
But something is off.
We need to move.
Here you go!
Oh, what about the other person?
I mean the driver.
You got hit, right?
For not coming to give my condolences,
I am truly sorry.
The legal issues should be going through your mother.
That's not why I'm here.
Has he not come to?
No.
How are you holding up, Shimura-san?
I'm completely fine.
Aside from this.
Oh.
The victim of a traffic accident is usually the one to fall into a coma.
Thank goodness you didn't.
I'm sorry.
Please don't apologize.
It's been a while
since I could spend this much time
with him.
I thought things would end up this way eventually.
Pretty soon,
we will be going to court with his company.
They've had him
working over 18 hours a day.
He shouldn't have been driving to begin with.
Just in case... there is no reason for you to feel in the wrong.
You are clearly the victim here.
Am I?
You are.
His family would be in serious trouble if you had died.
Involuntary manslaughter and such.
The settlement would have been huge.
But you're lucky.
You're alive.
You don't have memories, but you're conscious.
And you're not a mystery novelist.
If you were one,
and you were writing a really good novel
you'd be screwed since you'd have forgotten the twist or something.
But since you're not, it's all good.
That's way out of the blue!
But...
thank you.
I'm sorry.
Uh... I'd like to ask a favor of you.
May I?
I...
have this issue here.
You know...
I...
don't really get myself.
But does it really matter if I do?
Fishing seems like something that wouldn't suit calm people.
Why's that?
Because they don't care if they catch nothing.
People with short fuses try all sorts of things if they can't catch anything.
The weather is so nice!
What can be fished up here?
What did I catch?
Back when we took this photo...
I was actually fishing on my own.
What was I doing?
I don't know.
Why not?
We got into a fight soon after the photo.
You left in a fit of rage.
What did we fight over?
I wonder?
I've no idea.
You didn't come after me?
I'm the one with a short fuse, then!
This bed sure makes a lot of noise!
Well...
Have a seat.
I don't think I need to sit.
I'm not really in a rush, though.
I'm just nervous.
Nervousness is...
stupid?
It's not stupid.
I'm...
living life having to make sure of every little thing as I go.
It's extremely tiring.
You don't know what it's like, right?
I'm sorry.
Why?
I don't see any reason for you to apologize.
Sorry.
How about helping me?
Or turn off the lights.
I give up.
I'll just...
turn into an unlikable person
if I keep going on like this.
Sorry.
Your head.
Lift it up.
You liked using my arm as a pillow.
Can I ask you something weird?
Was
my first time
with you?
It couldn't have been.
We didn't start dating until I was 25.
Did I tell you anything?
About my exes or anything?
I have no idea who to ask.
Sorry.
I don't know.
I guess you wouldn't!
Sorry, just forget it.
I do know one boy.
The boy you liked.
What kind of person was he?
I really hated him.
Ohhhh.
I had bad taste in men, huh.
My hair...
finally got washed yesterday.
So it doesn't stink anymore.
I never said it did.
Seriously.
You probably thought it did!
You finally came to get it.
What's on the second floor?
Storage.
They seem like molts.
Here it is.
What's that?
The clothes you wore the day of the accident.
They're bad luck!
Just throw them out!
But you kept good care of this outfit.
I couldn't just toss it out.
If you want them gone, throw them out yourself.
On that day, you even said you were going to see someone you like.
You were unusually happy that day.
Was I normally glum?
No.
What's that?
A painting you did.
When?
I'm not too sure of that.
But it's been here for about a year.
You tried to throw it out, but Shimura-san brought it here.
Why did I throw it out?
You said something about its being pointless on its own.
What is it supposed to be?
You can see into an all-girl class, right?
That's pretty scary!
On that note...
over there.
That is where I had my accident.
That day...
The day of the accident...
I didn't have plans to see you, right?
Right.
Why?
Let me look!
It shut off.
Something is definitely off.
What is?
Vision is completely unobscured, right?
Even if the car was going ridiculously fast, it's still clear.
So how would I not notice that it was coming?
I want to see a lotus bloom.
I heard
that a lotus makes a noise when it blooms.
That's what Ishikawa Takuboku said, anyway.
Do you remember anything?
How do you know this is the place?
I asked around with your photo at all the places that looked like date spots within 500m of the accident.
Wow, you're like a detective!
Thank you for waiting.
This is the girl I asked about.
Yes, I did indeed serve her white wine.
Wine?
What kind of man was she on a date with?
She was with a woman, actually.
Who paid the bill?
That woman.
I'm fairly sure a receipt was given.
May we see the store copy of it?
Please hold on a moment.
Will this work? Will she actually show us that?
Yeah. I showed them this along with your photo.
Kaoru-chan!
You're really with the police?
No way. It's fake.
Based on a real one.
A real one?
Thank you for waiting.
Here is our copy.
Abe Design Office?
Using our name won't give any discounts.
By the way...
Do you have a wife or a lover?
Someone who might call me out thinking you and I are...?
If I did, I wouldn't be sleeping here.
Take this with you when you go.
You brought it with you when you got hired.
It's pretty bad.
Right?
How did I end up hired here?
Well... you were cute.
Takeuchi from accounting brought you in.
She said she had someone she wanted me to meet.
Takeuchi-san?
Takeuchi-san doesn't come here.
She quit already.
Business has been bad since the earthquake.
It's bad even without earthquakes, though.
And we didn't have the money to pay people.
So she found work at another accounting firm.
You know... that big place outside the station.
Then...
you can't give me work again, I suppose?
Sorry, no.
But aren't you...
Aren't you good for money even without working?
Well, not that it's a good thing.
Insurance money.
Getting into bad traffic accidents twice in just over a year...
that's just unheard of.
Twice?
Hello, this is Abe.
Yes.
Yes, I'm working on it as we speak.
This is awful.
You're stuck with your 17-year-old taste.
Does this help you remember anything?
So, I...
was in two different accidents, right?
Seems that way.
Even bad luck has different levels.
Wouldn't it be good luck?
You're still alive.
But why was I drinking wine?
I couldn't even drink before.
Wouldn't that mean it was a situation where I had to drink?
You mean you were with someone you couldn't refuse?
I apparently told my mom I was headed to a date that day.
That would mean I had plans to see someone afterward.
Would someone normally drink knowing that?
Wow, it's like you really are a mystery novelist.
This isn't a joke!
A date with Hosomi, then?
No, not him.
I asked him already.
Then who?
I have no idea.
If only I knew that...
There are more times when adults would drink
than just when they can't refuse.
Are there?
There are also times we need the alcohol just to do something.
Bathroom.
Jingle bells, jingle bells... and such.
Today is a wonderful Christmas!
You're pretty early on that one.
I'm not early at all!
According to my memory,
I'm in December at age 17.
That means it's almost Christmas for me.
Why does she...?
[bank book in Sakumi's name]
1... 10... 100... 1,000... 10,000...
2 million...?
Taniguchi Contracting?
Just to make sure...
What is that 2 million yen?
Probably your settlement.
My settlement?
For the first accident.
We met up once, at one point,
and I asked you to lend me some money, with interest.
You didn't think twice.
It seemed like you never really wanted that money.
My injections cost a lot of money.
And I want surgery, too.
You must be mad.
I was...
happy you came to see me right after the accident.
I heard you lost your memories, so I came to check.
I thought I'd be pretty lucky if you'd forgot about the money.
With you like that.
But... if so, why did you try and help me get my memories back?
Because your mom asked me to.
I was with you so you wouldn't go into shock if they came back to you.
Shock?
I planned to keep the money if you didn't remember.
But I guess I'm screwed, now.
I'll make sure you get it back.
I don't need it.
I'll take that seriously.
Wait.
Tell me what happened
at the first accident.
Hey.
Will I see you again?
[address for Taniguchi Contracting]
I'm just bringing out what we have.
I'm sorry it's like this.
Enjoy.
Thanks.
Is everything alright?
What exactly?
Your injuries
and what-have-you.
What-have-you?
Why were you
at the hospital on that day?
I was worried.
I heard about the accident
from the insurance company.
I thought you might have tried to kill yourself again.
Again?
I was actually very relieved
that you'd forgotten all about it.
You were the driver
in the first accident?
The truck that I was driving
struck the car that Teshima-san was driving.
And you were...
also in the car.
Hold it!
Give it back!
Give that back to me!
This painting and that hat belong to Teshima!
We painted this together!
So it's partly mine, as well!
You got your memories back?
I didn't.
But I know that much.
And the hat was a Christmas gift when I was 17!
It was way before you ever met Teshima-kun!
So what if you painted it together?! So what if it was before we met?!
The person Teshima chose
was me!
But he...
Give Teshima back to me!
Why did he have to be the one to die?!
Why were you the one to survive? Why?!
Ants.
A guy that I used to know
would step on all the ants he came across.
I told him to stop being mean to the ants.
He said he felt bad for them, and that's why he killed them.
He felt bad for their being born as ants.
So he'd kill them before their time was up
so that they could be reborn as something else.
But even saying that...
there's no way to know if ants have bad lives.
I was in love with him.
But when I realized that I loved him, he was already with someone else.
He's dead now.
I haven't even remembered anything.
I can't remember any of it
but I know it happened that way.
I...
want to be a good person like you, Mika-chan.
If I were to be reborn.
You're the good person here, Sakumi-chan.
Liar.
It's true.
You said it before, too.
You said my voice is pretty.
And that I should talk more.
And you even
taught me how to sing.
I can't really tell
if my pitch is right, after all.
I was practicing on that day.
At the same place as always.
"I'm on my way to you."
That's what you were saying.
I know because I can read lips.
Oh.
I finally get it.
I still can't remember
but I get it.
The person I was going to see.
I wanted to be with him
so I smoked even though I didn't like it.
Ever since I was 15.
That red hat
was a Christmas gift when I was 17.
And I've kept good care of it all this time.
I should have known
based on just that.
It wasn't
that I wanted to die.
I...
wasn't trying to die.
It was
just that
I wanted to see him.
Sakumi-chan...
What I lost
wasn't my memories.
It was him.
Why did I live?
My luck
is seriously bad.
You have good luck, Sakumi-chan.
You can stay in love with him for your entire life.
You may never see him again,
but you will never come to hate him.
You're lucky you're alive,
Sakumi-chan.
You can hold onto those feelings your whole life.
Um...
I...
don't remember anything about Teshima-kun.
I'm pretty sure
that I won't be able to remember, either.
Memories of Teshima-kun
are all yours, Takeuchi-san.
I said that you should have died.
I take that back.
I can't have you dying before me.
I can't let you see Teshima-kun before I do.
Thank goodness you're here! Give me a hand!
I invited other people from the art club
like Aoki, Sakiko, and Mari.
But they all couldn't make it.
They're pretty cold.
I'm pretty sure
I could see more stars before.
It's the same sky as before.
You think so?
Nothing's really changed.
I think
that I really was in love with you.
No.
You...
only ever had feelings for Teshima.
I'm not sure how he felt, though.
But I knew it.
And I was fine with it.
It's okay now, Hosomi-kun.
You blame yourself for not being able to stop me in my suicidal state, right?
And that's why you stay with me, right?
But...
It's okay now.
That's not the only reason.
You're really kind, Hosomi-kun.
I'm not kind at all.
I'm constantly regretting
that I didn't come clean at the hotel.
You are kind.
All the way to the end.
What are you doing?
I'm waiting
for the lotus
to bloom.
Have you lost it?
What about you? What's with that baggage?
I was camping.
Have you lost it?
Kaoru-chan.
I won't forgive you.
You, too...
shouldn't forgive me.
I'm thinking about drawing.
Seeing you at 17 years old again reminded me
that I
really loved to draw back then.
You're here again?
You must have time to kill.
I didn't come because I have time...
I know.
How are...
your injuries?
Good to see.
It seems I don't need to come back for a while.
You won't see me anymore if you come here.
I'm thinking
that I'll start drawing again.
Monet never used black in his paintings.
Even the shadows are mixtures of other colors
made to appear black.
Yellow, red, and blue...
as long as you have those 3, you can paint any type of reality you want.
I've come to think...
that I don't need the unnecessary, either.
Such a nice breeze.
Subtitles by Euphoric Translations